empathy

  • The Story Behind ‘Calming the Chaos’: A Personal Journey

    • by

    The Story Behind ‘Autism: Calming the Chaos’: A Personal Journey

    The first time Adrián had a public meltdown, I felt like the entire world was watching me fail as a mother.

    We were at a park, should have been joyful, playful. Instead, I was sitting on a bench with my 3-year-old son, both of us crying, while nobody could help us.

    I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t know how to help him. And I felt so utterly, completely alone.

    That park moment? That’s where “Autism: Calming the Chaos” was born……

    Not in that exact moment, obviously. But that feeling, of being lost in the chaos, desperate for understanding, needing someone to tell me “this is what’s happening and here’s how to help”, that’s what drove Luis and me to write this book……

    This week, as a thank you to our community, we’re offering the Kindle eBook version completely FREE (December 2-6). Because if even one family can skip that park moment I had, if even one parent can understand their child’s meltdowns sooner than I did… it’s worth it!

    Get your FREE copy here (available Dec 2-6 only)

    A Mother’s Love and Honest Struggles

    Let me be real with you about something: I love my boys more than anything in this world……

    Adrián, who’s 11 now, with his intense passion for history and trains. Guillermo, my 5-year-old, who sees the world through the most beautifully unique lens……

    But loving them fiercely doesn’t mean parenting them has been easy……

    There have been days when I’ve sat in my car after dropping Adrián at school, just crying. Days when the meltdowns felt relentless and I questioned everything I was doing. Days when I felt like I was failing them……

    The hardest part? Watching them struggle and not knowing how to help……

    Seeing Adrián cover his ears in pain at sounds I barely noticed……

    Watching Guillermo become completely overwhelmed by changes to his routine that seemed minor to me……

    Holding them through meltdowns, feeling helpless, wondering what I was doing wrong……

    That’s the love that propelled me to write this book……

    Not a sanitized, Instagram-perfect version of autism parenting. But the real, messy, beautiful, challenging truth of it……

    Because I wanted other parents to know: you’re not alone in those hard moments. You’re not failing. Your child isn’t broken. And there ARE things that can help……

    The Daily Moments That Became Our Guide

    “Autism: Calming the Chaos” isn’t based on research studies or clinical observations (though those informed it)……

    It’s based on our actual life……

    Like the time Adrián had a meltdown at the grocery store because the fluorescent lights were buzzing at a frequency I couldn’t even hear. I thought he was “overreacting.” But he was in genuine pain……

    Like the morning Guillermo melted down for 45 minutes because we took a different route to preschool. Not because he was being “difficult,” but because the unexpected change felt destabilizing to his entire nervous system……

    Like the birthday party where Adrián (in his own party) retreated to a quiet room for 30 minutes, and instead of forcing him to “participate,” we let him regulate, and he came back ready to engage on his terms……

    These real moments taught us what actually works……

    Not theories. Not “shoulds.” But practical strategies born from trial, error, tears, and eventual understanding……

    Every strategy in this book? We’ve lived it……

    The calm-down corner we describe? That’s in our house. Adrián and Guillermo uses it regularly……

    The sensory regulation tools? Those are in Guillermo’s backpack right now……

    The scripts for talking to kids about meltdowns? Those are the exact words we use with our boys……

    This book is our family’s lived experience, offered to yours 💙

    Understanding What’s Actually Happening

    Here’s what I wish someone had told me years ago: meltdowns are not behavior problems. They’re neurological responses to overwhelm……

    When Adrián has a meltdown, it’s not because he’s trying to manipulate me or get his way. It’s because his nervous system has hit overload and the thinking, rational part of his brain has gone offline……

    Understanding that changed everything for us……

    Recognizing the Signs (Before It’s Too Late)

    Over the years, Luis and I have learned to read the early warning signs:……

    For Adrián:

    • He gets quieter than usual

    • His stimming increases (hand-flapping, pacing)

    • He starts avoiding eye contact even more than usual

    • His responses become shorter, more clipped

    For Guillermo:

    • He starts covering his ears

    • His speech becomes more echolalic (repeating phrases)

    • He seeks out tight spaces

    • His movements become more frantic

    When we catch these signs early, we can often prevent a full meltdown by:

    • Moving to a quieter space

    • Reducing demands

    • Offering sensory tools

    • Just… giving them space and time……

    This is what we teach in the book—not just how to manage meltdowns once they happen, but how to recognize and respond to the signs before things escalate……

    The Self-Management Strategies We Actually Use

    Here’s the truth: you can’t stop all meltdowns. Sometimes the world is just too much, and that’s okay……

    But you CAN give your child tools to manage their nervous system……

    For Adrián, we’ve taught him:

    • To recognize when he’s getting overwhelmed (using a “feelings thermometer”)

    • To ask for breaks before he hits his limit

    • To use his calm-down corner when he needs it

    • To identify which sensory tools help him most (noise-canceling headphones, weighted blanket, dim lighting)

    For Guillermo, we’re working on:

    • Visual emotion cards to help him identify feelings

    • Simple phrases like “too loud” or “need quiet”

    • Using his comfort items when overwhelmed

    • Understanding that big feelings are okay

    The book walks through these strategies step-by-step, from Adrián’s perspective as a 10-year-old autistic boy, so kids can understand what’s happening in THEIR bodies and what they can do about it……

    Why Adrián’s Voice Matters

    One of the things that makes “Autism: Calming the Chaos” different is that it’s told from Adrián’s perspective……

    With the help of my perspective as a autistic parent myself observing from the outside……

    But mainly from a 10-year-old autistic boy explaining what a meltdown actually FEELS like from the inside……

    Why does this matter?

    Because when autistic kids read this book, they see themselves. They understand “Oh, that’s what’s happening to ME. I’m not weird. I’m not bad. This is just how my brain works.”……

    And when parents, teachers, siblings, and grandparents read it, they finally understand: “Oh, THIS is what my child/student/grandchild is experiencing. No wonder they respond this way.”……

    Adrián helped us write this book. His insights, his experiences, his voice (even for the time when he was non-verbal), it’s all woven throughout……

    That’s what makes it authentic……

    Building Understanding Through Our Story

    When we decided to write this book, we made a choice: we would be honest. Even about the messy, hard parts……

    We don’t sugarcoat meltdowns in this book. We don’t pretend they’re easy to navigate. We don’t offer miracle cures……

    What we DO offer: ✨ Real understanding of what meltdowns are (and aren’t) ✨ Practical strategies that have actually worked for our family ✨ Compassionate guidance for supporting your child before, during, and after overwhelm ✨ A perspective that treats autistic traits with respect, not as problems to fix ✨ Hope, because understanding changes everything……

    For the Kids Reading This Book

    When autistic children read “Autism: Calming the Chaos,” they learn:

    • What’s happening in their body during a meltdown

    • That meltdowns don’t make them “bad”

    • Practical strategies they can use themselves

    • That they’re not alone, other kids experience this too

    • That their feelings and experiences are valid……

    Several parents have told us their kids return to this book again and again, especially after a hard day. It validates them. It helps them understand themselves……

    For the Adults Reading This Book

    When parents, teachers, and caregivers read it, they learn:

    • The difference between meltdowns and tantrums (game-changer!)

    • Common triggers and how to identify YOUR child’s specific triggers

    • What to do (and what NOT to do) during a meltdown

    • How to support recovery after overwhelm

    • How to build prevention strategies into daily routines……

    Plus, there’s an entire section specifically for parents with guidance, tips, and strategies for supporting your child’s emotional regulation journey……

    This Week Only: Our Gift to You

    Luis and I believe every family deserves access to understanding……

    That’s why this week (December 2-6), we’re offering the Kindle eBook version of “Autism: Calming the Chaos” completely FREE……

    Download your free copy here – Available Dec 2-6 only

    (You don’t need a Kindle device, the free Kindle app works on any phone, tablet, or computer!)……

    This is our thank you to this incredible community that has supported us, shared our books, and trusted us with their stories……

    If cost has been a barrier, now’s your chance. Download it. Share it with your child’s teacher. Send it to grandparents. Pass it along to anyone who needs to understand meltdowns better……

    Let’s spread understanding together.

    Beyond This One Book: Our Complete Journey

    “Autism: Calming the Chaos” is just one part of our family’s story……

    We’ve written an entire series based on Adrián and Guillermo’s real experiences, each book addressing different challenges we’ve navigated:……

    📚 Autism: Calming the Chaos – Understanding and supporting meltdowns (FREE this week!)

    📚 Autism: Confidence Starts Here – Building self-esteem and celebrating differences

    📚 Autism: A New School Year – Managing transitions and back-to-school anxiety

    📚 Autism: My Invisible Backpack – Understanding masking and emotional overload

    📚 Party Time for Adrián – Navigating social events with confidence

    Each book includes: ✓ Stories based on our real family experiences ✓ Beautiful hand-drawn illustrations ✓ Practical strategies you can use immediately ✓ Bonus sections for parents and educators ✓ Downloadable resources and tools……

    FREE Resources for Your Family

    Beyond our books, we’ve created tons of FREE downloadable resources to support your family:……

    Access all our free resources here

    You’ll find:

    • Meltdown prevention checklists

    • Visual calm-down strategy cards

    • Emotion identification tools

    • Social stories templates

    • Sensory regulation guides

    • And so much more, all completely free……

    Because we believe support should be accessible to everyone……

    The Community That’s Walked This Journey With Us

    Writing “Autism: Calming the Chaos” wasn’t just about our family’s story……

    It was inspired by every parent who’s messaged us saying “I thought I was alone.”……

    Every teacher who’s asked “How do I help this student?”……

    Every grandparent who’s said “I want to understand my grandchild better.”……

    Every autistic adult who’s shared “I wish someone had explained this to me when I was young.”……

    You’ve all shaped this book.

    Your questions. Your struggles. Your victories. Your wisdom……

    This community of families, educators, therapists, and autistic individuals navigating this journey together, that’s what gives this book its heart……

    What Parents Are Saying

    “This book is super helpful to any parent with an autistic child… beautifully illustrated, makes it more interesting to read and absorb the information.” — Phil_AE

    “My daughter recognizes Adrian in the illustrations already! It has allowed me to not only use the techniques ourselves as a family during a meltdown but to also understand other kids when they have one.” — Andre Cassis

    “A lifesaver for understanding my grandson’s autism… The practical tips for handling emotional crises have given me the confidence to know what to do if a meltdown occurs at home, park, school everywhere.” — Gloria (Spain)

    “Well-written book, well-illustrated, easy to read, and as someone with a neuroscience degree, I appreciated their understanding that it’s not the fault of the kid… very empathetic.” — Yair Aizenman……

    These reviews mean everything to us because they tell us: this is helping families. And that’s why we do this work……

    From Our Family to Yours

    That park floor moment I told you about at the beginning? It doesn’t haunt me anymore……

    Because now I understand what was happening. Now I know how to help. Now I have tools, and so does Adrián and Guillermo……

    Writing “Autism: Calming the Chaos” was our way of making sure other families don’t have to feel as lost as we once did……

    Every strategy in this book is something we’ve lived. Every insight comes from real experience. Every word is written with love for our boys and hope for your family……

    This week, it’s free. Not because we’re running a promotion, but because we genuinely believe every family deserves access to understanding……

    Download your free copy here (Dec 2-6 only)

    Share it. Use it. Let it help you the way writing it helped us……

    And if it makes a difference for your family? That’s all the thanks we need 💙

    With love, understanding, and solidarity,
    Dalisse & Luis
    Loving Pieces Books

    📧 Stay Connected:

    💙 Have you read Calming the Chaos? What resonated most with your family? Share your story with our community, we’re all learning together.

  • When the World Feels Too Loud: Understanding Sensory Processing Differences in Autism

    • by

    You know that feeling when you walk into a crowded mall during the holidays? The fluorescent lights buzzing overhead, a cacophony of voices bouncing off the walls, the overwhelming smell of cinnamon pretzels mixing with department store perfume?

    Now imagine feeling that way in a regular grocery store. Or your own kitchen. Or sitting in a classroom.

    This is the reality for many autistic children navigating sensory processing differences, and if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re searching for answers because someone you love is struggling with a world that just feels… too much.

    I see you. And I’m here to walk alongside you on this journey.

    The Day Everything Made Sense

    Let me tell you about Emma (not her real name), a little girl whose mom reached out to me last year, exhausted and confused. Emma would have complete meltdowns at birthday parties. She refused to wear anything but one specific pair of pajamas. And grocery shopping? Forget about it.

    “Everyone thinks I’m just a bad parent who can’t control her child,” her mom told me, tears in her eyes. “But I know something else is going on.”

    She was right. And once we started unpacking Emma’s sensory processing differences, everything shifted, not because Emma changed, but because the adults around her finally understood what she’d been trying to communicate all along.

    What’s Really Happening: Sensory Processing Decoded

    Here’s the thing about sensory processing, we all experience it, but for autistic children, the volume knob is turned way up (or sometimes way down) on one or more of their senses.

    Think of your brain as a filter. For most neurotypical people, that filter sorts through sensory information efficiently: “This is important. This can be ignored. This is background noise.” But for many autistic children, that filter works differently. Every sensation demands equal attention.

    Research from occupational therapy studies shows that 60-90% of autistic children experience some form of sensory processing difference. This isn’t just being “picky” or “difficult”, this is their neurological reality.

    What This Actually Looks Like

    When I talk to parents, I often hear:

    “She can’t stand the seams in her socks.”

    “He covers his ears every time the blender runs.”

    “Bright lights make her anxious and irritable.”

    “He won’t eat anything except three specific foods.”

    These aren’t behavioral issues, they’re sensory experiences that feel genuinely uncomfortable or even painful. Imagine wearing a wool sweater on bare skin all day, or listening to nails on a chalkboard during every conversation. That’s the level of distress some sensory inputs can cause.

    And here’s what breaks my heart: many of these children can’t articulate what’s wrong. They just know something feels bad, and their bodies react with meltdowns, shutdowns, or avoidance.

    The Grocery Store Story (And Why It Matters)

    Remember Emma? Her grocery store meltdowns made perfect sense once we understood her sensory world.

    The fluorescent lights flickered at a frequency most of us don’t consciously notice, but Emma did, and it felt like a strobe light. The refrigerator hum was painful to her ears. The smells from the bakery, seafood counter, and produce section all hit her at once. Strangers’ carts rattled. Someone’s perfume was overpowering.

    She wasn’t being “difficult.” She was drowning in sensory input while trying to hold it together.

    Once her mom understood this, they started shopping at opening time when it was quieter, Emma wore noise-canceling headphones, and they kept trips short with a clear plan. The meltdowns didn’t disappear overnight, but they became less frequent and less intense. Things that we have used with our son’s many times and we could share these strategies with Emma’s mom.

    Because understanding changed everything.

    Practical Strategies That Actually Help

    Okay, so now you understand the why. Let’s talk about the what now.

    Start With Detective Work

    You can’t support your child’s sensory needs until you understand what those needs are. I know … easier said than done when your child is pre-verbal or can’t explain what’s bothering them (My youngest Guillermo now is in this stage).

    Try keeping a simple sensory journal for a week. When does your child seem distressed? What’s happening in the environment? What do they gravitate toward when they need comfort?

    You might notice patterns: meltdowns always happen after noisy environments, or your child seeks out tight spaces when overwhelmed, or certain clothing textures are consistently rejected.

    Create a “Yes Space”

    This is my favorite strategy, and I’ve seen it work wonders. Designate one area in your home as a sensory-safe zone, I call it a “yes space” because everything in it is a YES for your child’s sensory system.

    For us, this meant:

    When our son felt overwhelmed, he knew he could retreat there. No questions asked. No punishment. Just safety. We have this set in our play area.

    Sensory Breaks Are Not Optional

    I know you’re busy. I know schedules are tight. But here’s the truth: sensory breaks aren’t a luxury, they’re a necessity.

    Think of it like this: if you were running a marathon, you wouldn’t skip water stations. Your child is running a sensory marathon every single day just existing in a world that’s not designed for their nervous system.

    Build in short sensory breaks throughout the day:

    • 10 minutes of jumping on a trampoline

    • Playing with kinetic sand or play dough

    • Swinging

    • Pushing against a wall

    • Deep pressure activities (like a “sandwich hug” with pillows)

    These aren’t just nice activities, they’re regulatory tools that help your child’s nervous system reset. Here are some of the products we use at home: https://lovingpiecesbooks.com/authors-picks/

    The Headphones That Changed Everything

    Can I share something vulnerable? I resisted getting my kids noise-canceling headphones for way too long because I worried about what other people would think. Would it make him stand out? Would people judge?

    But you know what? The first time he wore them to his cousins play at her school he actually enjoyed the play instead of melting down, I realized my own discomfort was standing in the way of his comfort.

    If noise is a trigger for your child, invest in good noise-canceling headphones. Let them wear them whenever they need to. This is accommodation, not avoidance. Here are some choices: https://lovingpiecesbooks.com/ear-defenders-ear-plugs/

    Work With, Not Against

    Here’s where I see parents (including myself, in my work) struggle: we try to “fix” sensory sensitivities instead of working with them.

    Your child may never love loud environments. They may always prefer certain textures. And that’s okay.

    Instead of forcing them to “get used to” things that cause genuine distress, we can:

    • Prepare them for sensory challenges ahead of time

    • Offer choices and control where possible

    • Respect their “no” about sensory inputs

    • Celebrate their courage when they try something challenging

    Building a Village That Gets It

    One of the loneliest parts of parenting an autistic child can be feeling like you’re constantly explaining, defending, or justifying your child’s needs.

    Talk to the Teachers

    I know it’s hard to be an advocate when you’re exhausted. But educators genuinely want to help, they just need to understand what your child needs.

    Share specific information: For example: “Mia does better with flexible seating because sitting still at a hard desk is physically uncomfortable for her sensory system.” This is more helpful than “She can’t sit still.”

    Ask about simple accommodations:

    • Can your child use a wobble cushion or standing desk?

    • Is there a quiet space they can use when overwhelmed?

    • Can they have a fidget toy during instruction time?

    Many teachers are willing to make these adjustments, they just need to understand why they matter.

    Educate Your Circle

    I’ll be honest: some people won’t get it. They’ll think you’re “making excuses” or “being too soft.”

    But many people like grandparents, friends, babysitters, genuinely want to understand and support your child. They just don’t have the language or knowledge.

    Share articles (like this one!). Explain specific triggers. Give them concrete ways to help.

    When my friend explained to her mother-in-law that her grandson’s refusal to hug wasn’t personal, it was sensory, their relationship transformed. Grandma started asking, “Would you like a high-five or a wave?” instead of forcing hugs. And you know what? Eventually, he started initiating hugs on his terms.

    Empathy and Autism Parenting

    What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

    You don’t have to get this perfect. You’re going to have days where you forget the headphones, or you push too hard, or you’re so exhausted you can’t muster the patience you wish you had.

    That doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human.

    What matters is that you’re here, reading this, trying to understand. That you’re committed to seeing your child’s sensory needs as real and valid. That you’re willing to make your home, your routines, and your expectations more flexible to accommodate their nervous system.

    That’s love in action.

    Small Steps, Big Impact

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, here’s what I want you to do:

    Pick just one thing from this article. Maybe it’s creating a calm corner. Maybe it’s buying those noise-canceling headphones you’ve been considering. Maybe it’s just noticing your child’s sensory patterns this week without trying to fix anything.

    Start there.

    Because here’s the beautiful truth: when we make space for our children’s sensory needs, we’re not just reducing meltdowns (though that’s a nice side effect). We’re sending them a powerful message:

    Your experience of the world is valid. Your needs matter. You don’t have to change who you are to deserve support.

    Resources for Your Journey

    Understanding sensory processing differences is just the beginning. If you’re looking for more support, I’ve gathered resources that have genuinely helped the families I learned with:

    📚 Autism: Calming the Chaos by us Loving Pieces Books is the book that can open your eyes to sensory processing. It’s comprehensive yet accessible, perfect for kids to visually understand what sensory overload may look like and even though it’s a children’s book, parents can benefit from it specially if you are just starting to understand these differences.

    And of course, I’ve created FREE sensory strategy guides and printables on Loving Pieces Books that you can download today, visual schedules, sensory break ideas, and accommodation request templates.

    Your child’s sensory world may be different from yours, but it’s not wrong. It’s not something to fix or overcome. It’s simply how they experience life, and when we honor that, we create space for them to thrive as their authentic selves.

    You’re doing an amazing job navigating this journey. Keep going. Keep learning. Keep advocating.

    And remember: you’re not alone in this.

    With hope and solidarity,
    Dalisse
    Loving Pieces Books

    💙 What sensory strategy has been most helpful for your family? I’d love to hear your story, share in the comments below or connect with our community on Instagram @lovingpiecesbooks.

    Check out our books and FREE Resources